Every day I receive emails from all over the world: emails from teenagers and adults, men and women, boys and girls. These emails express heartbreak, obsession, frustration and anxiety and all over one thing — their abs.

It's hard to believe that one little muscle group could cause such a stir, but it's true. Most of us would love to have flatter abs but, no matter how hard we try, we just can't seem to get there. So what's the answer? Get the facts about your abs and learn what your body is really capable of.

Much of the frustration surrounding the abs is due to misinformation and unrealistic expectations.

Despite the hard work of trainers everywhere, people still cling to outdated ideas of the proper way to work their abs and get the much-desired 'six-pack'.

Examining the myths surrounding your abs is the first step towards setting reasonable goals for yourself.

Ab myth one: Ab exercises get rid of abdominal fat.

Unfortunately, spot reduction doesn't work, either for the abs or for any other body part. The fallacy of spot reduction assumes that, if you have fat over your abs then exercising the ab muscles will make that fat go away. While exercising the muscle may increase endurance or strength, it won't burn off the fat in that area.

The only way to burn fat from your belly is to reduce overall body fat by creating a calorie deficit. The healthiest way to do that is with consistent exercise (cardio, strength and flexibility workouts) and a healthy, low-calorie diet.

Ab myth two: Ab muscles are different from every other body part.

Do you work your abs differently from other muscles in your body? If so, you're not alone. Too often people work their abs every day without rest, hoping to burn the fat off with more exercise. But, your abdominal muscles are just like every other muscle in your body, so you should train them the same way you would train, say, your biceps or your chest. That means strength training two to three times a week, with rest in between and a variety of exercises to target different areas of the abs.

Try dynamic exercises that focus on core strength and that involve your stabilizer muscles — the muscles you use all day long to hold your body in place. One of these is the plank: get into push-up position and hold it for as long as you can, keeping your belly tight and your body straight. Don't hold your breath. For a more advanced version, try it with the stability ball.

If you need more challenge, try this difficult exercise:

Lie on the floor with your legs up (straight or slightly bent) and aim soles of your feet at the ceiling. Imagine that you're holding something fragile on your feet, like a tray of glasses filled with water. Lift the 'tray' straight up towards the ceiling until your hips are off the floor.

The trick to your abs is to realise that strength training is important to keep your belly strong, but ab exercises aren't magic. Incorporating ab exercises into a complete routine is the only way to the wonderful world of six-packs. And, even if you don't make it there, don't worry. The rest of us haven't either.

Do you ever do zillions of reps to work your abs? Haven't we all? Abs are just like every other muscle in your body. That means, you should train your abs the same way as the rest of your muscle groups.

Ask yourself this question: Would you do 100 bicep curls? Of course not, right? That makes no sense! Same thing applies to your abdominals. To make strength gains with your abs, you have to follow the same principles that apply everywhere else. That means you have to overload your muscles. The reason we feel the need to do so many reps is that we're not working them hard enough, usually because of improper form. If you have to do 50 or more crunches before you feel fatigued, slow down and concentrate on your technique and having good form.

Let's face it: the factors that dictate how our bodies look are too many to keep track of. Age, genetics, gender... all of these decide what your body and, therefore, your tummy, look like. Women, in particular, tend to store fat around the lower belly area causing that annoying lower belly pooch. Men tend to store fat around the middle, causing that annoying spare tire effect.

Yes you can!

Yes, you can exercise and reduce your body fat, but you can't choose where you lose fat. To get six-pack abs, you may have to drop your body fat to a level that is either a struggle to maintain or downright unhealthy. Many of us have the goal to get six-pack abs but most of us will find it difficult to reach that goal.

If this is true for you, trying to reach an impossible goal is only going to make you crazy. Set reachable goals for yourself and make friends with your belly. Remember that we all have flaws and perfection isn't an option unless you head to your nearest surgeon. Instead of doing that, challenge yourself by taking care of your body and accepting it — good, bad and ugly.

Ronald Abvajee is founder of My Personal Trainer Wellness, South Africa's first 'virtual gym'.