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Today, 22 November 2009

› SACP attacks Malema

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Yesterday, 21 November 2009

› SACP attacks Malema

› Match-fixing stuns Europe

› JZ hails Miss World effect

› Henry offers replay

› No armchair ride for Boks

Question
My 18-year-old brother has a drug problem. He recently OD'ed. Afterwards he admitted to taking Ecstasy and smoking pot. I suspect he also experimented with acid and cocaine. My parents found out and although they were very understanding, I can see that everybody is very stressed out.

I am worried about my brother's schoolwork — he is in matric this year.

He seems very depressed and has severe mood swings. He is currently working with a psychologist doing group sessions. He will be coming home for the winter break which will interrupt his programme.

The psychologist advised us against this but there is nothing we can do about the situation. What can my parents and I do during the break? How should or shouldn't we treat him?

My brother has always been an extreme introvert. I am two years older than him but already the distance seems huge. He is completely absorbed by the rave culture and I am not; that seems to have put a great barrier between us.

Can you also please tell me more about the abovementioned drugs — how they work, how they affect you, what the telltale signs of a user are?

We have always had an open relationship about this, but I only now realise that he was hiding a lot of things from me.

Answer

You sound like a caring sister, but don't try to turn yourself too much into a psychiatric nurse. The effects of the drugs you mention are numerous, especially if he mixes them. (Take a look at our archives for more information on specific drugs and drug issues generally). If he hasn't been using recently you won't necessarily see many direct effects. Why not give him the benefit of the doubt, and instead assume that he won't use while he's at home? It might help him a lot if he sees that you all believe in his ability to beat this problem and get clean from drugs, conversely it might discourage him if he discovers people expect him to be a dope-head regardless of whatever progress he's made so far.

The social withdrawal you describe is often seen in young people who are using drugs, along with other telltale signs like loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed, poor self care (sometimes even lack of personal hygiene) and loss of appetite — though cannabis makes users want to eat more ("the munchies"). Maybe he's not so much of an introvert as you suppose — that could have been the drug use, or perhaps a depressed state that led to drug abuse. Raves and big parties are, after all, not the natural habitat of your typical introvert!

I'd suggest that instead of trying to arm yourself with expert information about drug abuse in general, you rather talk to him about it in a more personal way. Try to draw him out on other matters, encourage him to tell you what has drawn him, for instance to raves and what raving does for him. If he realises that you are genuinely interested in him as a whole person (not just a drug user), want to understand, and will listen without judging him, he may open up and tell you how his life has been lately. He might also be the best person to tell you how he'd like to be treated once he arrives home. (As a normal person, loved and valued by his family would be my guess!!) He may not himself realise how difficult being "normal" is going to be, especially if he's still in some denial about the seriousness of the problem. But let him make suggestions as to how the family could relate and how he'd like the issue of the drug abuse to be handled now that it's out in the open.

While his psychologist may well feel it would be better for him not to go home at this point, given that it is unavoidable, he or she should also be able to come up with some recommendations about what would be helpful and supportive to his rehabilitation. I'd suggest that your parents contact the psychologist, if possible even visit with him or her and your brother together, to thrash out a plan of action and especially a procedure in case of emergency.