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Personally I believe this is a marriage breaker and depicts the exact state that human relationships have come down to - the gutters.

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All I can say is that what the hell have we become? Society seems to decide what is right and what is wrong where a few years ago it was religion. There are obviously two sides to every story but what I would like to know is which religion allows swinging? Definately not Christianity or Islam (the largest Religions in the world) if you want to get really technical about it and look at it from a biblical view. The moment two people have sexual intercourse their spirits are joined as one. That is why women battle to break relationships with guys after they have slept with them. So what can be said for going out and sleeping with someone else? There will be absolutely no trust left in the relationship. And what about AIDS? That alone should be enough to outlaw this perverse practice.

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My wife and my self have been involved in the life style for 3 years now and we both realy enjoy it. I think we would be considered as soft swingers however we have had occasional full same room intercourse with other couples. Why do we do it? FUN is the keyword here. It is exciting thrilling and different. We were married at a young age and never really experienced our sexual potential we shaped each other into our own sexual preferences. Since we have been swinging our own sex life has changed for the better so much that we can't wait for the weekends and the parties. We have experienced and lived out fantasies that most couples would not even talk about to their spouses. My wife has experienced making love to another woman( apparently a common fantasy among girls). she has performed a strip show for a room full of strangers at a swinging club, another secret fantasy of hers (Demmi Moore in “striptease”) I have had two girls pamper me at the same time with my wife watching and directing them ( ask any guy what his ultimate fantasy is). It gives us a thrill to watch each other having fun with people we know and trust and in a atmosphere that is totally relaxed ( Thanks Rick and Mariaan “ Marquee Swingers Club”)

It is important to remember that swinging couples respect each others privacy and that NO means NO. there must be no pressure from either partner if anything is going to happen it must be spontaneous and acceptable by all parties involved. Although we have been swinging for a few years we only started going to swingers clubs about a year ago. Only on our fourth visit did anything happen with another couple and it was wonderful. In the beginning we used to sit there and just relax watching other couples flirt and play. Then secretly we would wander off and lock ourselves in a room and make the most wonderful love to each other.

Are you and your spouse ready for swinging? Have you ever sat round a table with some close friends and played a game of strip poker after a few bottles of wine and all parties had fun and felt comfortable? If the answer is yes then your already there :o) WELCOME… I hope this article will shed some more light on our life-style and encourage other people to explore and enjoy their fantasy’s.

If there are any couples who would like to contact us or require any advise on how to get involved please email us at the following address zaswingers@email.com

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"Swinging" is no big deal. The Bible warned us that such days would come. The fact that Noah's ark has been found on the slopes of mount Ararat is proof of the fact that the Spirit of God takes action against rebellious mankind. God doesn't change, only mankind does. Swinging is expected as mankind continues to walk away from the creator. Swinging is totally repulsive, sick. Thank goodness I have found life in Jesus Christ. My Lady and I don't need "swinging" as the spirit of God has given a vibrant marriage which includes a wonderful sex life, and after 13 years of marriage it gets better ever moment of every day...

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Swinging is the best thing that happened to me and my wife.

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I think it would be a good idea for an elder couple to do it rather than a younger one, as being young that will not leave a hell of a lot to do after that. If a young couple are doing or partaking in a swinging session it shows that at such an early stage there is a lack of depth in the marriage already??? Although another alternative is to have a better spiritual understanding in the marriage. I'm sure that would be a better way of handling most problems.

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True love has the ability to keep a sexual relationship with one marriage partner exciting, for life.

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I a world battling with STD's, family breakups, destroyed lives and depression, how can "swinging" be seen as advantageous. People need joy, happiness, kindness, goodness and the like to infiltrate their lives-not ugliness, short-term recipes for disaster and more heartache. What seems good on the surface and brings so called "enjoyment" is not neccesarily good for society.

Comment from the iafrica.com psychologist:

Basically, most of the objections to swinging as a lifestyle come down to moral values around sex and arguments about the stability and solidarity of society. These ideas have come under tremendous challenge in recent decades. Are we throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Is our society irretrievably decadent? Perhaps it is, but where is the evidence for claims that are made against swinging?

It would be good to hear from people who have participated in swinging, in whatever way, and who feel in any way harmed by it. Clearly there are many people who have experienced the opposite! So making a general statement like "this is a marriage breaker" is flying in the face of evidence. Before anyone can make a claim like that, we first have to agree on our terms: what we think marriage actually is, in the first place.

Perhaps the most consistent thing we can say about swinging, is that it is a lifestyle: consistent, planned, considered. It is not wild, antisocial or "los". Swingers have values, although some people may not agree with them. The values upheld by swingers appear to include honesty, sexual freedom and playfulness, the importance of sexual pleasure to men and women equally, and whatever the opposite of jealousy may be called. Being married appears to be highly valued: swingers want to stay married and avoid divorce. However, one wonders whether swinging would be quite as thrilling if there never had been any sexual conventions for swingers to defy! That raises a few questions about the psychological maturity of the people involved, although once again generalisation is going to be dangerous.

So swingers have their reasons and these deserve a hearing, if only because they provoke questioning of things that are often taken for granted. Learn, learn, learn, as our reader said! Monogamy, like swinging, is a lifestyle and a choice. But why would a couple make that (often difficult and costly) choice? What ARE the values and benefits of one-partner faithfulness? Is monogamy no more than an endless list of thou-shalt-nots?

The answer coming from many successful monogamous relationships is a definite NO. Monogamy cannot be defined negatively, by what the monogamous are not doing (sleeping around, swinging, commiting adultery, enjoying sex). It can and should be defined positively, by the quality of what is shared and made possible in an exclusive sexual relationship. Not every marriage will achieve a state of successful monogamy; it is not automatic. Readers have called this elusive state intimacy, something spiritual, depth, vibrancy, and joy - among other things. It is difficult to put into words; like many of life's most deeply moving experiences. Yet the state of being in monogamous, mature, private love with your partner does appear to mean something very real and significant to many couples. For these couples, marital sex will never be anything like playing tennis (see letters in support of swinging)!

If swinging is a lifestyle that rejects monogamy but not love, then it is neither opposed to faithful marriage, nor an extension of it. It is an alternative way of life, and as such is nothing to do with "marriage" - because by definition marriage means a partnership that is exclusive. So swingers may be married, but they don't have "a marriage" in this sense at all. Swinging is also nothing to do with society, even less with the Government, and remains firmly in the realm of free choice by consenting adults. South Africa has hopefully left behind forever the days when the State assumed the right to peer into people's bedrooms. Freedom is freedom, including freedom for minorities to behave in ways that majorities don't like, as long as nobody else's liberties are compromised.

To sum up, swinging is a lifestyle which has evidently helped some people achieve their goals in life together with their partners. There is little point in denying this. Swingers are not against traditional marriage or monogamy; since they have by definition NOT chosen to succeed as a monogamous couple, they know as little about this lifestyle as most other people know about swinging. The aims of swingers appear to be very different from those of monogamous couples, aside from negative aims such as avoiding divorce. Swingers defend their lifestyle with passion, and even if you don't buy what they're selling, this is useful. Why? Because it challenges the monogamous or undecided people to find out what sexual exclusivity stands for, and what can be gained from it over time. Marriage or partnership will not be taken for granted after that!

As a family therapist, I still prefer to defend and encourage monogamy, but it seems to me that this happens best when those who share this preference make no secret of aiming high in their marriages. Monogamy is difficult and costly sometimes, but worthwhile things usually are. So here's my suggestion: if you're married, or otherwise monogamous, and don't fancy swinging to spice things up, make today the day you start to reach higher in your marriage. No marriage or partnership is so good that it can't get better. Why swing from the chandeliers if you can swing from the stars - or do both at once...

I'd also like to extend a personal thank-you to all the readers who have taken the trouble to email us about this issue, for or against. Unfortunately we cannot publish all letters and have had to edit some of them.- but you took the time to show that you care, and we appreciate it!