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Today, 24 November 2009

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Question

My wife had a caesarian section eight months ago, and now has no sex drive. Is this normal? Is there some sort of medication which she can take to get her sex drive back, since this is seriously affecting our marriage?

Answer

Your wife has just spent nine months carrying a child, and only eight months ago, gave birth. It doesn't matter whether it was a vaginal delivery, or a caesarian section, the end result is the same.

For the nine months of the pregnancy, her hormones were totally different from normal, and she now has further hormonal rearrangements, and an eight month old baby to look after. If she was back to her normal self, I would say that she is remarkable!

Give everything some time. Not only has your wife's body got to adjust to all the changes it has undergone over the last year, but your whole life has changed. Looking after a small child is extremely tiring. On top of that, most women find that, for at least the time when the child is totally dependent, all their priorities change, since the child becomes, understandably, the most important person in their lives. After all, your new baby cannot survive without her input.

Your marriage will also change, since you now have someone else to think about and look after. Simply getting back to what you regard as a normal sex life is not going to make things go back to the way they were.

Sit down and talk to your wife about all the changes which are going on in your life, and find out how she is feeling about things generally. Communication is usually the way to sort out problems. You may well be latching on to the lack of sex as a way of complaining about the rest of the changes which have taken place. You need to sort this out in your own mind, and talk to your wife about it.

If you find it difficult to talk together on your own, then either speak to your GP together, or get hold of the local branch of FAMSA. You will find their number in the telephone book.

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